People grew up & values changed.

I miss my smile

I feel really tired lately. Tired, and no matter how much sleep i get, It doesn't seems to make it fade away.  Been thinking alot lately, too. So what if people read what goes inside my mind? Its not like it means anything, it'll only ever have a negative effect. 

Anyways, There's alot on my mind. Nonetheless, at times I really wish I could just drain all my thoughts and be blank. I envy people that are able to do that. But nope. I'm stuck this way. I feel that things are alright and well and good, then a moment later, my heart feels heavy and things aren't alright and everything that can go wrong does go wrong. It's a bit annoying, and I'm getting a little tired of it. 

No thoughts. No dreams. No memories. Nothing. Sometimes I really wish I could be an empty shell.

About love, I always try to love myself before I go off trying to give this love to someone else. It'll always be rejected, because I can't control it. I can't direct it correctly, all my feelings are broken. Sometimes I don't even know who I am inside. How then, can I love someone else? Good question, I'll get back to you on that.

God, what a whiney emo bitch I am. Bitchity bitch bitch. Purge the emo-shit from me, and move on. That's what I need to do. I don't wanna sound emo, i'm not emo i'm not emo. Please tell me i'm not emo? I'll probably go sleep  to purge the rest of my emo-ness out of me. 

He's gone.

I dreamt about you last night

Everything happened exactly what i wanted it to be

I won't call it as a nightmare because the way it happened was just too wonderful for me to call it as a nightmare

It all started when you surprised me by calling me and unexpectedly appeared in front of my house.

My heart almost jumped out from my chest once i saw you.

It was making me hard to breath.

I've missed you so much, it was hard to believe that you were in front of my doorstep.

You suddenly disappeared and gave me a hint to find you.

It was as if we were playing Hide & Seek.

The process that we went through were filled with up and down.

You pressed your lips closely to my lips and it felt real because i could feel you breathing.

Something woke me up and everything vanished in just a split second.

And i just sat on the bed and tried to recall back the dream but i failed miserably.

I couldn't help myself. I burst into tears of rage.

It's sad to know that you aren't a part of my life anymore.

Because the times we had together were tremendously exhilarating.

You're without a doubt a person to be missed.

xx ♥