People grew up & values changed.

I miss my smile

I feel really tired lately. Tired, and no matter how much sleep i get, It doesn't seems to make it fade away.  Been thinking alot lately, too. So what if people read what goes inside my mind? Its not like it means anything, it'll only ever have a negative effect. 

Anyways, There's alot on my mind. Nonetheless, at times I really wish I could just drain all my thoughts and be blank. I envy people that are able to do that. But nope. I'm stuck this way. I feel that things are alright and well and good, then a moment later, my heart feels heavy and things aren't alright and everything that can go wrong does go wrong. It's a bit annoying, and I'm getting a little tired of it. 

No thoughts. No dreams. No memories. Nothing. Sometimes I really wish I could be an empty shell.

About love, I always try to love myself before I go off trying to give this love to someone else. It'll always be rejected, because I can't control it. I can't direct it correctly, all my feelings are broken. Sometimes I don't even know who I am inside. How then, can I love someone else? Good question, I'll get back to you on that.

God, what a whiney emo bitch I am. Bitchity bitch bitch. Purge the emo-shit from me, and move on. That's what I need to do. I don't wanna sound emo, i'm not emo i'm not emo. Please tell me i'm not emo? I'll probably go sleep  to purge the rest of my emo-ness out of me.